ALAN'S THEORY OF SLEEP CRYSTALS

LOG LADY LOG

 (items borrowed from Alan's Halloween costume)

CLOWN COMBO

This is how Alan described the Clown Combo from the Pick-Me-Up Café:

JUNKCAKES

There has been a lot of baking lately.

Cupcakes for Andy Junk (Martha Stewart recipe):

AVOCADO CAKE!

Creepy and filled with guacamole.

CONGA LINE CONFIRMATION CONTRACT

A number of years back, longtime friend/current roommate Alan told me he was going to be attending a wedding. The week before it occurred we were discussing how great we thought conga lines were and after a little bit of goading on my part, he promised me that he would try to start one up at the wedding.

The wedding came and went. I saw him afterwards and I asked him about the conga line- did it happen? How was it? Did it snake around the entire room? He said it was a great and successful conga line. Best one ever. Everybody was in it. I quizzed him a bit more and he nonchalantly answered all my questions. To quell my doubts I made him sign a contract. Without any hesitation he quadruple-signed it:

Flash forward several years later: The subject of conga lines randomly came up again in conversation one day and I reminded him of the one he started at the wedding.

"What conga line at what wedding?"

"The one I made you sign that contract for in my green notebook."

I dug out my notebook and showed him the contract. Alan thought about it for a moment,

"Oh, that never happened. There was never any conga line."

--

To be fair, around this same time that he lied about the wedding conga line to me, Alan did in fact attend a columbia film student party in the Lincoln Park neighborhood where he actually DID participate in (and helped create) a wild and frenzied conga line that involved everyone at the party snaking through room after room of the apartment as all good conga lines should do. Alan is a good guy, even if he lies about a conga line now and then.

THE GOD COUPON

LAST NIGHT AT WEEGEE'S

The Beatles as Ninja Turtles:

Paul = Leonardo
John = Raphael
George = Donatello
Ringo = Michelangelo

Brian Epstein = Master Splinter
Yoko = April O'Neil (sorta)

Drugs = Pizza

But who's Shredder?

LAST HALLOWEEN

That last pumpkin has a set of abs carved into it (courtesy of Andy, based on Batman's abs).

I tried to adapt this sketchbook doodle of a little guy wearing a bear costume into a pumpkin.

But it just turned into a teletubby.

HALLOWEEN PROVERB: "It's better not to say anything than to say anything at all."

ALAN'S PIZZA THEORY